


A Wicked Thing

by The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Biting, Bone Apple Tea, Fanart, M/M, Post-Canon, Sex Magic, Texting, Vampire Sex, chapter 1 is just setting the scene, i will sprinkle in texting...as a treat, like the Vampire Kind, monster fucker husbands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff/pseuds/The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve—it’s Simon & Baz’sanniversary—& Simon knows just what he wants this year. And Baz, well. Baz is more than happy to oblige.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, baz/his own ability to thrall, baz/his own teenage fantasies, baz/vampirism, because they’ve had years of practice at this point, simon/dragonism, simon/his own needs, snowbaz/better communication
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101
Collections: Secret Snowflake 2020





	A Wicked Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waterwings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterwings/gifts).



> Hello hello, y'all, & Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!
> 
> This is chapter 1 of my gift for our server exchange. My original plan was to do art only for this event, but when I saw Amy's prompts I just...couldn't help myself. HOWEVER, these things take time, so I haven't gotten to the meat of the fic just yet, but I wanted to share the first chapter today regardless. (Many thanks to [@sconelover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sconelover/pseuds/sconelover) & [@pipsqueakparker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafbaeyette) for looking over this for me!)
> 
> And so, without further ado...
> 
> _Let's do this._

**DECEMBER 2024**

**Absolute Nightmare (6:10 pm):** i know what i want for xmas

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:10 pm):** Oh? Not going to let me pick your gifts myself, then?

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:11 pm):** cant say no to more gifts

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:11 pm):** i mean

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:11 pm):** you could probably leave off the bank shirts

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:11 pm):** Pardon?

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:11 pm):** you know.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:11 pm):** every xmas you buy me at least two shirts that make me look like i work at a bank

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:12 pm):** Are you referring to button-up shirts?

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:12 pm):** yeah

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:12 pm):** Every man should have proper business casual attire in his wardrobe, Snow.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:12 pm):** ugh

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:12 pm):** What.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:12 pm):** it’s got the word business in

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:12 pm):** It’s just a term, you hopeless troglodyte.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:12 pm):** And, for the record, I can’t believe you’re insulting my Christmas gifts to you.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:13 pm):** Well. Perhaps I can.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:13 pm):** come off it

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:13 pm):** it’s just

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:13 pm):** sometimes i think you buy me what you want me to want and not what *i* want

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:13 pm):** which is nice and all

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:13 pm):** but i dont need a baz-sized wardrobe yeah?

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:14 pm):** Fine, Snow. No more "bank shirts." But don't think I'm not questioning your judgement.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:14 pm):** Or considering alimony.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:14 pm):** your a toff

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:14 pm):** You're.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:14 pm):** also you don't need alimony

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:14 pm):** Right. So what, pray tell, should I be spending all of my money on this year?

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:14 pm):** *our money

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:15 pm):** account has both our names on and everything

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:15 pm):** A figure of speech, Snow.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:15 pm):** I’m well aware that I’ve tethered myself to you, body, soul, and magickal spirit. Legally. For life.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:15 pm):** Another figure of speech.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:15 pm):** your well alive you prat

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:16 pm):** and anyway

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:16 pm):** it's not something you can buy

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:16 pm):** priceless gift. dont even have to spend our money or your fake alimony on it

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:16 pm):** Oh?

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:16 pm):** Please tell me you're not suggesting I craft one of those gaudy love coupon books.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:17 pm):**...not exactly

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:17 pm):** Crowley, Snow.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:17 pm):** it's not that

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:17 pm):** also you're being a right arsehole

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:17 pm):** it's embarrassing

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:18 pm):** Alright. Apologies. I do want to know what you'd like, love. Truly.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:18 pm):** it's

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:18 pm):** i mean

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:18 pm):** it could count for xmas and anniversary too like

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history [ UNSENT DRAFT ] (6:18 pm):** Only you could manage to bluster this much in writing.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:19 pm):** okay

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:19 pm):** we’ve talked about this before

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:19 pm):** a bit

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:19 pm):** sort of

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:19 pm):** and youve never said no but idk if your actually keen

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:20 pm):** but

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history [ UNSENT DRAFT ] (6:20 pm):** Merlin and Morgana, Snow, you’re.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:20 pm):** Well. Perhaps if you told me, we could find out.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:20 pm):** fucks sake i’m embarrassed ok

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:20 pm):** happy?

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:20 pm):** No. I don’t actually enjoy seeing you suffer. Or reading it.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:21 pm):** And Simon?

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:21 pm):** yeah

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:21 pm):** It’s just me. There’s no need for embarrassment.

 **Absolute Nightmare (6:21 pm):** its a sex thing

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:21 pm):** Ah, okay.

 **TBSGP aka the longest name in bloody history (6:21 pm):** Go on.

_**Absolute Nightmare is typing…** _

* * *

**SIMON**

We’ve a Christmas Eve party at ours this year, and I really, _really_ should’ve asked Baz if we could do my present before everyone came over. (Well, my one present. The unwrappable one. The one that he definitely can't give me in front of his family while we're at theirs tomorrow.)

I mean, I tried, but he wasn’t for it. He said he wasn’t sure about the aftereffects, or something. Said I might not be completely right in the head for a while.

“ _What d’you mean?_ ”

“ _You might seem...drunk, I suppose._ ”

“ _So? Won’t everyone be drinking anyway?_ ”

“ _Not_ drunk, _per se. It could be an endorphin rush, I don’t know. I know fuck-all, remember?”_

_“You know a bit more than fuck-all, now.”_

_“Honestly, Snow; wouldn’t you like to be at least marginally coherent? I’d’ve thought you’d want to be presentable for Bunce at least.”_

I couldn’t argue with that, really. The thought of Penelope knowing I want… _this._

We don't have secrets, Penny and me. And it's not like she’s not smart. It’s not like she hasn’t probably figured things out by now. But it’s different than her knowing because I fucking told her. By acting a tit.

Anyway. It was good to see everybody. Pen and Shep. Dev and Niall. Agatha…

But fuck if I didn’t want to speed up the clock as soon as they got here. I almost asked Baz to cast a **Time Flies** , but I didn’t want to seem too eager, and also I realised after I thought it that I could cast one myself, if I really wanted.

Wouldn’t’ve seemed right. Not on Christmas Eve. Not on our _anniversary_. (Also, my magic’s still not completely predictable, even after having it back for the last seven years.) (It gets wonky when the mage stuff and the dragon stuff go crossed, and sometimes I’m still not sure who’s speaking.) (Dragon stuff’s more likely when I’m irritable. Or excited. And, well. Yeah.) (If my tail were out today, I’d’ve knocked all the biscuits off the table. I’d’ve taken somebody’s eye out without meaning to.) (It’s a good thing I can control those bits now, at least.)

Anyway, everyone’s leaving now, and I’m _still_ trying not to seem too eager.

Baz probably knows. Fucking vampire senses or something. And he’s driving me half-mad with the way he’s _not_ rushing everyone out the door, the way he’s still making small-talk.

The way he’s not shaved for a few days just to spite me, the git.

It makes me want to shove him against a wall and—

“Simon, you seem distracted.”

“Hm?”

Shepard’s looking at me like he’s been watching me for a while.

“Is that really anything new?” Baz asks. He’s swept up behind me without my noticing. It’s got the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. In a _good_ way.

“Guess not,” Shep says as he shakes Baz’s hand goodbye. He does me next, and I give him a smile back, but I really just want him to—

“Come on,” Penny says, shoving Shepard closer to the door with one of her shoulders. “They want us out.”

“Pen!”

Her eyes roll at me from behind her purple glasses. “As if I’ve never seen that look before. We’re going. Goodnight Basil; go easy on him.”

Penny’s a bit of a lightweight, but I’m honestly not sure if she’s talking out her arse at this point or not. (Also, I _really_ hope Baz doesn’t go easy on me.) (Can’t think about that right now…)

They’re the last ones on the threshold, and they’re gone in a few seconds after _Happy Christmases_ (and one _Merry Christmas_ from Shep), some sweeping gestures from Baz and...well. A shitton of stutters from me, I guess.

And now it’s just us. Alone. _Finally._

I watch Baz lock our front door with his long, nimble fingers. I watch as his face turns to me, long and angular and lovely, dark in the evening light.

“So,” he says, “is it true? Were you _distracted_?”

“It’s your fault,” I tell him.

“Dev told me you looked like an animal about to make its kill. Over biscuits.”

“When’d the tosser say that?”

“You were in the loo.”

“Right.”

He leans against our front door then, arms crossed, and it’s jammy for me it’s too cold out for him to have his sleeves rolled up. (If I’d had to look at his bare arms all night, I might not have survived.) (I’ve barely made it through as is.)

“You’ve not answered the question,” he says. The tone in his voice already has me heating up. It feels like our magic’s churning low in my belly, about to burst free.

I roll my eyes and find myself tugging at my hair. “Of fucking course I was distracted. You’re well distracting. Fucking look at you.”

He’s wearing a bank shirt—a _button-up_ —one of those flowery ones with a jumper overtop. (Are those poisonsettias or poinsettias? Hard to say.) (I mean, poinsettias. How many mages are out there designing flowery shirts?) Then there’s the trousers. Dark grey and fucking sinful, they are. I think—I’m _sure—_ he chose them specifically to rile me up. They seem tighter than what he usually wears. (Watching his arse in these makes me feel like I used to when I’d watch him running ‘round on the pitch, only without the denial.)

Maybe I do get to unwrap this present after all.

One of his eyebrows is out for blood. (And honestly, I hope he is, too.) He doesn’t even bother saying anything.

It pisses me off. (In a good way. The sort of way that means there’s a bit of fun to follow.)

“I’ve had to wait all day,” I growl. “ _Thinking_ about this all day.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly well.”

“You do?”

His eyes (and the one eyebrow) give me a once over. “I’ve had to wait all day, too.”

I guess I’d not thought about that. (Sometimes I still don’t get why he wants me.) (That sounds dramatic. What I mean is, he’s all long and lean and fit. Tall. Dark. Handsome. All those stereotypes but like, better, somehow. And I’m, well. Me.)

I want this to be good for him, too.

I told him last week, in the texts. That this is what I want. And that I want him to show me what _he_ wants, when he does it.

And, I mean, it goes without saying that we had a ridiculously brilliant shag once we both got home. As awkward as it is talking about sex stuff sometimes, it still gets me riled up. And Baz...he _does_ want this, too. The things he said to me that night, when I was inside him. The things he said in my ear, his words slurred around his fangs. The way his face coloured afterwards, when we were done. Coloured with my blood.

The way he almost took me out when I quoted his own texts back to him: “ _It’s just me. There’s no need for embarrassment._ ”

Yeah. He wants it. Wants _this,_ probably as much as I do. Maybe more. Which makes the whole thing even hotter, doesn’t it?

“So, um,” I start. (I don’t know how to start, now that it’s time.)

“Kiss me,” Baz says.

“What, now? You’ve not done it.” Has he? I don’t _feel_ anything. (Other than the obvious, but I think that’s just me. A prickling of desire under my skin, like magic about to go off.) “I mean, you haven’t, right?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Honestly, Snow, right here in the entryway?” He pushes himself off the door to stand up straight in front of me. Bloody fucking three inches. “Anyway, _must_ you be _coerced_ in order to kiss me these days? Has the spark truly dwindled so much?”

“No, you knob.” I step into his space and push some of his long, dark hair away from his face. “I just thought—”

“Since _when_.”

“Oh, piss off.” I press closer, jutting my chin up at him so we’re practically eye-level. He looks like a predator. (He _is_ a predator.) It makes my magic—my _want—_ pulse faster in my chest, in my belly, in my cock.

I think he knows. At the very least, he can hear how fast my heart’s beating.

He smiles at me, a wicked thing. There’s a hint of fang gleaming there.

“Well,” he says, his voice low and rough. “You’ve waited all day. I think you can manage a bit longer.” He tilts his head and levels me with storming eyes. “Show me, Snow. Show me how much you want—”

I do.

**Author's Note:**

> SO. I hope I have piqued y'all's interest. Hoping to have this written relatively soon! Go ahead & subscribe to be notified when the second chapter's up, & let me know your thoughts down below!!!
> 
> I have a fandom [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/thehoneyedhufflepuff/) now! Come visit me if you want! 
> 
> I'm also still on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thehoneyedhufflepuff) because I like to suffer


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